I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she told me i tasted like america
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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