You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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