Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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