carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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