Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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