yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
