do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
