All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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