You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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