just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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