I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
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