For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
