i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
