The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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