the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
third nipple confirmed
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
