Got a toothbrush?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
