I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
