At least make sure they are 18
Why
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
