You're my little dorito
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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