Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
