mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
