I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
BRING THE BAGELS
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
