Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
