awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
