he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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