I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize