woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Are we still banned from the library?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
