Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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