i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
