My hair reeks of homosexuality.
only if we run a train.
done.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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