I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Can Purell be used as lube?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
