yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
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