So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
