Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
