i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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