Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
