No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
