i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
