i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
