I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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