I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
