Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
