Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
