seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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