and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
