i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
