I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
