I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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