Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
