I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
