You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
